FEAR – The obvious emotion of mankind. The greatest enemy or closest friend. Not because one is weak but because it is a primitive human behavior that perceives triggers. Fear becomes unhealthy when it prevents us. The fear of God is a good advantage of fear, the fear of tarnishing one’s reputation, the fear of living all alone, the fear of meeting the wrong person to mess with your emotions, and the fear of poverty. That which you fear may come upon you. Fear can be described as “a future expectation of being worse off than you are now.” you…
Author: Hafsat Salisu Kabara
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TODAY, I want to talk about how men need healing too. There are practical things men need to put in place. Many men are also carrying emotional baggages but don’t look like it, trying to pull through and look strong but are bleeding inside. Take a look at the increased death rate of men, you find grandmas and a few grandpas. Men carry their pain and develop sickness, facing many fears and putting on a brave face because they were raised not to show it. As a man, it’s okay to release your emotions and cry, rant, and voice out…
IT is such a shame that in a country where the present administration keeps talking about fighting corruption, the same corruption keeps coming in different forms. Let’s revisit some hilarious money/project scandals in Nigeria. I think this country is becoming a huge joke. First of all, it was the rodents that drove away the then-president, and then we have snakes consuming about N36 million and now we have monkeys raiding a farmhouse. In 2018, a sales clerk claimed that a snake had swallowed 36 million Naira proceeds from the sale of scratch cards. The clerk was working at an office…
LET’s revisit some bits of the public lecture on the benefits of tribalism by Dr. Nnamdi Azikwe at the University of Nsukka, in 1964. He said, some people seem to think that tribalism is an unmitigated evil, but it is not. Every Linguistic group has its cultural features which can have something of value to contribute to the way of life of its country or unit thereof. The first point is Tribalism. Tribalism is an anthropological phenomenon and is a universal fact. When we speak of English, French, Dutch, German, Russian, Czech, Spanish, Italian, and other linguistic groups in Europe,…
WE are all architects of our social and economic development woes. Let’s stop the blame game. Change begins with you and I. Our attitudes and unpatriotic behaviors should stop. Be the change you want to see. Until we realize the value of our dear Nation Nigeria and the average of our values, we will keep fooling ourselves. How did we come to this? When did we stoop this low? Who will I point with my full chest as my First Republic saviour? Who is yours? Here, I don’t mean The First Republic ruled by different leaders representing their regions as…
RECALL the Tudun Biri tragic incident that we still can’t get over with? We were promised a thorough investigation and since it’s a new working government, we had our hopes high. Shortly after the accidental attack, during their respective visits to the victims of the bombings, the National Security Adviser, Nuhu Ribadu, the Chief Of Army Staff, General Taoreed Lagbaja and the Chief Of Defence Staff, General Christopher Gwabin Musa all stated that there will be a thorough investigation and the finding of the investigation will be made public. Nigerians believed them and believed that, considering the widespread attention and…
This is the concluding part of my article on narcissism, which was skipped last week for the ‘Betta’ piece. LIVING with someone who has narcissistic traits carries unique challenges. When living with a narcissist, you have to protect yourself and set clear healthy boundaries, Setting boundaries doesn’t mean that you expect the other person’s behavior to change, but rather that you set a limit in your mind of what is acceptable, tolerable, and behave in line with that. You have to learn about narcissism to stop blaming yourself. Identify gaslighting behaviors by a narcissist and build your confidence to avoid…
THIS week’s column was supposed to be a concluding part of my last week’s piece about narcissism but an issue came up with someone I think I have every right to talk about as a Nigerian and as someone who has supported everything she has done in the past – Dr Betta Edu. I noticed the minister of humanitarian and poverty elevation, Dr Betta Edu a few years ago, when she was commissioner for health in her state, Cross River state. She had attended an event for widows and orphans and she delivered a very heart touching speech about showing…
THE wedding was in a few days, and preparations were excitedly ongoing. Everything was sorted out. It was the finishing touches and some last-minute details that’s left out. The bride wanted a small wedding, an introduction, and tying of the knot. Who goes for a lavish wedding these days anyway? Let the ones born with a silver spoon have the dream wedding, we can all drool from behind our screens, and invest in the house we are moving to, That was the thought of this bride. Her phone rang and it was the groom-to-be, He said hey babes, can you…
A CENSUS is the procedure of systematically calculating, acquiring and recording information about the members of a given population. This term is used mostly in connection with national population and housing censuses; other common censuses include the census of agriculture, and other censuses such as the traditional culture, business, supplies, and traffic censuses. Therefore, this column is not enough to properly highlight the importance of Population and Housing Census. To delineate but a few; Population census gives the government an idea of the different populations in different parts of the country which will in turn aid the government in the…
IN a world obsessed with instant gratification and convenience, we often forget the true essence of relationships. We crave partners who possess a laundry list of desirable qualities, yet neglect to cultivate those same traits within ourselves. This disconnect between our expectations and our actions leads to dissatisfaction and, ultimately, disillusionment. We romanticize grand gestures and extravagant displays of affection while overlooking the simple acts of kindness and everyday effort that truly strengthen a bond. Instead of chasing an ideal that may not even exist, let’s ground ourselves in reality. Focus on fostering genuine connection, open communication, and unwavering support.…
THERE is no way you will have a beating heart inside you and not be livid by the tragic ‘Error’ or so they call it, by the Nigerian army. A gross error that resulted in the bombings of people who gathered for Maulud on the 3rd December, 2023 by the Army “drone” in Tudun Biri, Igabi LGA in Kaduna State. Some 127 people were reportedly killed in the errorful attack and another 60 were badly injured and are hospitalized. It’s no longer news that shortly after the tragic incident, the Kaduna State Government says the Nigerian Army has claimed responsibility…
IT’S been months after the general election in the country, nine months to be specific. The elected are long sworn into office, the appointed have resumed office and the country is on the go. The defeated are running from Tribunal, Appeal to Supreme Courts to seek redress. If there is a court above the Supreme Court, I am sure they will spend a fortune to go there. Going to court after election has always been a thing in the country but the wave of political court cases this time is unprecedented. I believe the judges are very happy with times…
A FRIEND called me last week, she read and my column and wanted to make some observations on some facts I highlighted in my previous piece about procrastination. I noted her observations and promised to mention her contributions next time I decided to revisit the topic. As we were about to round up the conversation, she mentioned her planned end-of-the-year vacation next week, according to her, her family is jetting out to three countries for the vacation and she sounded excited about seeing places and she did mention a few places. That got me thinking, it is that time of…
OVER the last couple of weeks, I made researches, sent out questionnaires, did surveys and took notes on a topic I had wanted to write about for this column, but as it is often with me, procrastination got the better of me when it was time to do the actual writing and before I knew it, the weekend was here again, the publisher was on my neck to send my column for the week. Therefore, I preferred to wait a week or two to pen down my researched topic, and decided to write about the reason for this delayed piece,…
RECENTLY, a consultant Neuro-psychiatrist, Dr Jimoh Adejumo, said the economic hardship in the country has affected the mental health of hundreds of thousands of Nigeria. Adejumo, who works with the Federal Neuro-psychiatric Hospital, Yaba in Lagos, added that, factors such as inflation, poverty, child abuse, rape, broken homes and broken marriages, financial problems, traumatic experiences and degrees of violence among others are taking a toll on the mental health well-being of the citizens. It is difficult to argue with Dr Adejumo’s summation – in these trying times in the country, it is only apt to delineate these issues from the…
LAST week, space constraint limited my analysis on how vital our mental health is to our way of life. Today, let’s continue, its an under-statement to say, our mental health is an integral part of our lives and, as important as our physical health. The alarming rate of suicides in our societies today has made it paramount to discuss this issues openly and honestly. Lots of people think bringing an end to their lives is a solution to their problems, even the rich and famous have these thoughts and a common reason for that is DEPRESSION. Let’s talk about depression:…
I WAS initially reticent to write about this topic but on a second thought, I felt I should for the relevance of the topic to our society and especially for the patients of mental health issues. Let’s take a brief and broader look about mental health. Nigeria’s mental health policy was formulated in 1991, but it did not make adequate provision for community-based psychiatric care. Since there are only seven government-owned psychiatry facilities in Nigeria and these are always overwhelmed, there is the need to overhaul the existing policy and emphasise the urgency of a shift from inpatient psychiatric mental…
AS I sit and watch him talk a few days ago, it baffles me that this amazing old man will clock 87 in the next few days. He is still as smart, as observant, as alert as I remember with a keen analytical mind. Of course, age has its toll on him, but Baaba doesn’t act or look 87 one bit. A son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather and a friend- a happy person and with a very big heart. Baaba’s blessings and teachings has been the bedrock of our success all of us – all 23 of us.…