“Vee! Ah-ah, see cheeks! You’ve added weight o, wetin happen?”
She smiled shyly. “My sister, I wanted to turn heads with my backside… but somehow, the weight went to unexpected departments.”
TODAY, I want to talk about one of those truths that may ruffle feathers, especially among my fellow women and yes, some men too. But let’s be honest: truth doesn’t always come in sweet packages. Sometimes, it’s bitter, and you swallow it because it’s medicine.
From the markets of Gusau to the backstreets of Kano, from WhatsApp status updates to TikTok live videos, the business of sexual enhancement products is booming. The promise? “Ultimate pleasure.” Magic powders. Secret herbs. Shiny capsules. Oils with names that sound like love spells. “River Flow,” “First Lady,” “Virgin Again.”
For men, it’s about performance, lasting longer, stronger, better. For women, it’s about “holding a man’s heart” or “keeping him from straying.” In Northern Nigeria, the most famous name attached to all this is Kayan Mata, a tradition as old as our grandmothers, now twisted into something far more dangerous.
Originally, Kayan Mata was simple. Dates. Honey. Shea butter. Sugarcane. Cloves. Natural, gentle, discreet. Women prepared these recipes as part of marriage rites or postpartum recovery. It was a cultural beauty passed down in whispers from mother to daughter, aunt to niece.
But today? That heritage has been hijacked. Turned into a multi-million-naira underground industry built on secrecy, myths, and the insecurities of both men and women. Some sellers promise spiritual binding, others promise physical tightening, and still others market outright seduction spells. Many women believe it will bring love, loyalty, and excitement back into the bedroom. But ask yourself: if it really works, why are many of the loudest sellers divorced twice?
Let’s call a spade a spade: these products are not medicine. They are not regulated. Many are outright poisonous.
Some are mixed with dangerous chemicals, unknown herbs, and even hormonal drugs. They are inserted, swallowed, or applied without any medical guidance. And when things go wrong, it’s not the seller who ends up in hospital, it’s the buyer.
So why do we keep doing this? Who benefits from it? And more importantly, how does it affect us long term? The medical risks don’t end there. Introducing foreign substances containing harmful bacteria can disrupt the natural vaginal flora, increasing the risk of bacterial vaginosis, an infection that occurs when the normal balance of “good” and “bad” bacteria in the vagina is disturbed.
I read one story online that broke my heart. A woman, desperate to please her husband, used unverified enhancers. Within weeks, she was in severe pain. Doctors found dangerous infections, and she needed surgery. While she was still recovering, her husband married another woman. The thing she did “for him” not only failed but left her with lifelong health complications.
Doctors across the North, from Sokoto to Maiduguri are seeing more cases of: Severe vaginal infections, infertility from scarring, sepsis (blood poisoning) from contaminated substances and disrupted hormonal balance from unprescribed pills.
And yet, the market grows. Why? Because in our culture, sexual health is still shrouded in silence. We are taught not to talk about it openly, which means myths, lies, and dangerous advice travel faster than truth.
Before, Kayan Mata sellers would whisper to you in the corner of a market. Now, they are live on TikTok, dancing, selling, and promising you heaven in a bottle. Men have joined the hustle too, hawking powders, waist beads, and “bonding perfumes.”
Just the other day, I saw this product called ‘Gold Fly’ trending everywhere flying left, right, and center. Out of curiosity, I did a little digging. Guess what? It’s made with rum. Yes, alcohol. Meaning some Muslim women, who have never touched alcohol are unknowingly consuming it in the name of intimacy.. You see the problem? We don’t research. The moment something trends, we just hop on it blindly.
Our youth unemployment rate is high. Our cost of living is rising. Insecurity is everywhere. And yet, instead of focusing on building ourselves, we are spending thousands chasing a man’s attention with untested powders.
Some even believe that Kayan Mata from Niger or Chad “works better” than Nigerian ones and the prices reflect it. The more “authentic” the origin, the more expensive it gets. But the health risks? The same everywhere. This obsession has turned intimacy into a competition. A performance. Something to prove to social media rather than something shared in trust and care.
Let’s face it: a man who wants to cheat will cheat. No powder, bead, or potion will stop him. Real connection in marriage is built on mutual respect, communication, and emotional investment not just physical tricks.
And yet, every day, our TV and radio stations air sexually explicit adverts for these products in Hausa, English, and Pidgin during daytime hours when children are watching. People complain about Big Brother Naija corrupting morals, but we ignore these ads. Where is the regulation? Where is the censorship? Where is the sanity?
Pleasure is not in a bottle. Not in a pill. Not in a powder. It’s in peace of mind. It’s in good health. It’s in knowing your worth.
Ladies, let’s stop letting desperation lead us to damage our bodies. We owe it to ourselves and to the young girls watching us to show that love, loyalty, and respect are not bought in the market. If this makes you uncomfortable, good. Discomfort is the first step to change.
Next time you see that TikTok seller promising you “heaven in a capsule,” remember: real intimacy has no shortcut.
Voice just cleared its throat!
- Kabara, is a writer and public commentator. Her syndicated column, Voice, appears on News Point Nigeria newspaper on Mondays. She can be reached on hafceekay01@gmail.com.