EVERY year, Nigeria joins the rest of the world to mark the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence. This year’s theme calls on us to unite to end violence against women and girls in the digital space. It is a necessary conversation, but also one we have been slow to fully embrace.
We are still more comfortable discussing violence when it is physical, when it leaves marks that can be seen and explained. What happens online is often dismissed as trivial or dramatic, something women should simply learn to ignore. That way of thinking no longer reflects the reality Nigerian women and girls are living with.
Digital violence is already woven into everyday life. It shows up as threatening messages, relentless harassment, blackmail, impersonation, and the sharing of private images without consent. It happens quietly and persistently, often in spaces where there are no witnesses and little accountability. For many women, the phone has become both a connection to the world and a source of fear.
We have seen this play out repeatedly in Nigeria. A woman’s private images are leaked online, often by someone she trusted. Within hours, the content spreads across platforms. Her name trends. Her character is dissected. She is blamed, mocked, threatened, and warned to disappear. While she deals with shame, fear, and real safety risks, those who shared the images face little or no consequence. By the time the public moves on to the next story, her life has already been altered.
This is how digital violence works. It is swift, public, and deeply unequal. Technology becomes a tool of punishment, and society often joins in, whether through silence or participation. What should alarm us is not that these incidents happen, but how predictable our response has become.
What makes this more troubling is how normal we have allowed it to feel. Girls are told to block and move on. Women are asked what they did to provoke the attack. Survivors are advised to stay quiet to avoid embarrassment. In choosing comfort over accountability, we repeatedly protect abusers and isolate victims.
Digital violence does not stay online. It shapes how women move through the world and how safe they feel doing so. It affects mental health, confidence, and opportunity. It creates an atmosphere of constant anxiety and self-censorship. When women withdraw from digital spaces to feel safe, society loses their voices, their ideas, and their visibility.
One of the biggest gaps in our response is at the community level. Many parents, teachers, and faith leaders still lack the language to identify digital abuse. Some see it as a youth issue or a problem of technology. Others see it as unavoidable. But control remains control, whether it is enforced with fists or with a phone.
If we are serious about ending digital violence, awareness must move beyond conferences and campaigns. These conversations must happen at home, in schools, in churches and mosques, and in community spaces where trust already exists. Women and girls should not have to justify why online harm matters before they are believed.
Schools have a responsibility to do more than warn students about strangers on the internet. Girls need practical guidance on privacy, consent, and reporting abuse. Boys must learn early that respect does not disappear once a conversation moves to a screen. Harmful behaviour should not be excused because it happens online.
Institutions also have a role to play. Reporting digital abuse should not feel like a dead end. Survivors deserve systems that are responsive, informed, and safe. When justice feels distant or impossible, silence becomes a survival strategy.
Families remain one of the strongest lines of protection. When girls feel safe enough to speak honestly about what they experience online, harm can be addressed early. Support does not require having all the answers. It requires listening and believing.
As this year’s 16 Days of Activism come to an end, we must resist the urge to move on too quickly. Digital spaces are not separate from real life. They are part of it. Safety within them is not optional.
To unite against digital violence means choosing to pay attention, even when it is uncomfortable. It means refusing to dismiss online abuse as less serious. It means standing with women and girls and challenging harmful behaviour wherever it appears.
Activism only becomes meaningful when it follows women and girls into the spaces where harm is happening. Until digital violence is treated with the urgency it deserves, our progress remains incomplete.
The fight does not end on December 10. It continues every day we choose not to look away.
- West is a seasoned journalist and development practitioner with over a decade of experience in media, human rights advocacy, and NGO leadership. Her syndicated column, The Wednesday Lens, is published every Wednesday in News Point Nigeria newspaper. She can be reached at bomawest111@gmail.com.