EVERYONE will answer in the affirmative. Yes, absolutely. No doubt. Are you kidding me? Of course, I love me. But to what extent? How many times do you feel ashamed because of what people say about you? How many times have you let people weigh you down because of how you look? Either fat or skinny. Dark or light-skinned. Constantly body shamed, how many times? How many times did you hide because of what people will think?
How many times have you suppressed a passion because of what people will say? Succumbing to immorality and indecency, just so you could feel among. We live in a culture that finds modesty to be disgusting or shameful, almost like a weakness. We are so used to seeing semi-naked women everywhere, on billboards, on pages of magazines, movies, and big-budget commercials, it doesn’t even flinch us anymore. We don’t even get bothered by it, it’s almost normal. But this is something that should flinch us.
The fact that women are being sexualized should disgust us – both faiths. We’ve gotten so desensitized to it. This is what happens when you get exposed to something wrong, that is shameful. One of the most beautiful things is modesty.
If you truly love yourself, all that is said wouldn’t matter to you. The beginning of self-love is the beginning of wisdom. Take it from me.
One key factor to help you love yourself is self-esteem. It is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change. We might also think of this as self-confidence. Low self-esteem may stem from experiences in early childhood. If you didn’t fit in at school, had difficulty meeting your parents’ expectations, or were neglected or abused, this can lead a person to have negative core beliefs about themselves.
You can build your self-esteem by trying to recognize the positives. Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself. Accept compliments and write a list of things you like about yourself.
Self-esteem is of three ranges, overly high self-esteem, which is feeling superior to others. People with overly high self-esteem are often arrogant, self-indulgent, and express feelings of entitlement.
And then there is the low self-esteem, Feeling inferior to others, and lastly, healthy self-esteem which is having an accurate and balanced self-view.
There is nothing rare and beautiful than being unapologetically you, comfortable in your perfect imperfection. That’s the true essence of beauty. Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.
Never forget what you are worth – even if someone or anyone can’t see it. Stand out, be the exception to every rule. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. you are worth more than gold because there is no one like you. Be positive, be you.
I read somewhere that maybe, love isn’t what we’ve been told. Maybe it’s not all romance and attention/attraction. Maybe Love is a friend. Someone who understands us, someone who will be there for you, even at your lowest. What if that person is YOU?
Sugar is sweeter than salt but this doesn’t apply when cooking soup. You are valuable and important, you are just probably not in the right place. So, pick yourself, and walk with your shoulders high. You have to love yourself for any other to love you. People will relate to you based on how you carry yourself. If you keep seeking validation, people will tramp on you. Your limitation is only your imagination.
You have got to have daily affirmation. Make it a habit to remind yourself, and say it constantly to yourself. loud and clear, hear yourself out:
“I am beautiful”
“I am strong”
“I am capable”
“I am worth”
“I cannot be stopped, tamed, or defeated.
Kabara, is a writer and public commentator. Her syndicated column, Voice, appears on News Point Nigeria newspaper on Mondays. She can be reached on hafceekay01@gmail.com