TODAY, I want to talk about how men need healing too. There are practical things men need to put in place. Many men are also carrying emotional baggages but don’t look like it, trying to pull through and look strong but are bleeding inside. Take a look at the increased death rate of men, you find grandmas and a few grandpas.
Men carry their pain and develop sickness, facing many fears and putting on a brave face because they were raised not to show it. As a man, it’s okay to release your emotions and cry, rant, and voice out your fears, it’s not an abomination, you are only human.
Learn to converse and communicate about the things you are worried about. The general belief is that women go through a lot, but the reality is men go through that more – especially in today’s era and economy, men need to be appreciated more.
The subject of mental health and rescue should be faced by both men and women. The stories we often hear about suicide are always after meeting the person at an event. Earlier this week, I was on the phone with a relative in Zamfara, discussing the hardship and insecurity the nation is faced with.
She said someone she knew died a day after he said those in the grave are so lucky they are not witnessing what is happening now. Suicide or natural death? That remains unknown to us. May the Almighty rest departed souls, Amin.
Men always reply ‘I am fine bro’ when asked how they are faring. You hardly hear them complain apart from the normal complaints everyone is complaining then later hear he committed suicide. It’s not lack of faith as some see it but it should be your prayer point that may GOD give you the shoulder to carry the burdens you are tested with.
With women, there’s always a sign, unless it goes unnoticed. Healing is such an important part of our journey, as a man-heal from your past, heal from your trauma because many are wounded from childhood trauma.
you barely see a father hugging his son in this part of the world, if you do, that’s one out of a thousand. Let alone show affection or tell his son, he loves him. We must repair that bridge and the emotions that were not communicated by our fathers.
For that to be repaired and eased, we must remember you can’t give what you don’t have. You have to have it in abundance first. This is easier said than done. Theoretically right, realistically chaotic, but let’s give it a try.
As a man, get up and deal. The first thing to put in place is to heal. Heal from your past, from abusive situationships, from the dysfunctionality of your background, heal COMPLETELY. The journey of your healing is between you and you, not you and anyone else.
The danger of not healing before moving on is that you keep bleeding on the one who didn’t injure you. Overreacting to things is a sign that you haven’t healed. If you keep carrying the baggage of these emotional traumas, you keep multiplying the pain. You are not worthless, you are just around people who don’t know your value at the moment.
When the people you are designed for come your way, you will be everything and more to them. Get up and DEAL.
Kabara, is a writer and public commentator. Her syndicated column, Voice, appears on News Point Nigeria newspaper on Mondays. She can be reached on hafceekay01@gmail.com